A mother or a keeper-1

 

Sometimes roles of mothers transgressed boundaries.Modern mothers I mean. And working mothers to be precise.

When I was being raised,mum aka tok ton cooked,washed ,keep the house in its form, rotankan anak bila nakal,and get ready the mee to be sold.

I watched mum waking up early in the morning,cooking the gravy which were heavy work devoid of modern technology.

By the way,we older girls dont just sit still.I helped  in everything that was  possible for a girl of then. Cari kayu api,angkat air dari perigi or to the extent of ikut kereta mee. Yes,I was the father’s helper cum an ear for loudspeaker.When you were slow in your move.My ba would shove.

My childhood aside,when I was raising my children,I too was deliberating- to follow the way I was raised before or being a lesser garang mother atau  mak yang tak apa saja.Biaq pi lah kat depa.

Looking back,I was both. Garang dalam lembut.Lembut dalam garang.

But children are children. Mana depa tau,parents risau ke,susah ke senang.Bercekau memanjang tak kira masa.Pening oh kalau anak dok berlawan sama mereka.Dan kadang kadang I was transformed into that terrifying leopard when things got hotter.

I think it was because we both were not aware of parenting skills and followed what we had been and seen.And emotional baggages too got to be encountered for.Dulu mana ada Nanny 911 ke,Oprah series ke,usatazah bahiyah ke for you nak emulate.

So pakli and me were at loggerhead.Mak kata macam ni pak pula macam tu.Tambah pulak ada datuk ada nenek ada maklong ada makngah ada maktok .Lagi awok.

I beat my children.And I am not menyesal.Said one.

Not me.I would be another mother if I had learn parenting skills.I feel bad for being the tiger in me since,a cat is more lovable to me.

Anyway,we were past that. Maybe the books,the programmes  I read,I saw  played a part.Pakli and me were no more at loggerhead as we know how to draw the boundary.

That’s me. Senyap dan sepi.Tapi bila cakap siap dengan pilosopi.

Eeeh apa dok bunyi.Rupanya next door neighbour dok bergaduh laki bini.Malam malam hari.

oii neighbour,mokjadeandell nak tidoq dah ni.

Seen anak anak tidak di jentik,tidak di herdik,lembut saja cakap ibu ayah.tapi kenapa bila besar,bapa pun tak depa hirau.Nak minta tolong,langsung tak payah.

So macamana?