APRIL is here...

image...from fb

Banyak signifikannya bulan April ini buat seorang aku.
Lahir,kap alif wen, pencen , semuanya di bulan ini.
Entah2 menutup mata pun di bulan kelahiran ini. Selalu dengar arwah bapaku menyebut tentang itu.

Sebenarnya ,masa membesar ,aku sangat daif dan naif
Daif in the form of kesihatan, keharmonian hidup, kestabilan emosi including kasih sayang.
Aku kuat memberontak. Melawan...kata depa.
Really?
Looking back, circumstances made me one.

Beberapa hari lepas, aku dikunjungi orang jabatan... something that I was greatly surprised.
Sekeping dua borang diunjukkan. Minta aku isikan.
Masya Allah... tak terlintas langsung difikiran yang aku jadi antara calonnya.
Its been 10 past years I have left the teaching fraternity.
Engrossed in my daily life. My life now is home and the hospitals. Especially these last three years.
Rushing hubby to hospital in the middle of the night, waiting endlessly at the emergency was the norm.
Frequenting the hospital wards, the clinics, the registration for admission and discharge were done without questions.
Driving early in the morning to the hospitals in Alor Setar even though I was afraid of the long journey and the traffic was an accomplishment. Finding parking space at the far corner of the hospital was a torment in itself . But I did it anyhow. Even though at times ,nyaris aku tersungkur di atas asphalt yang mendidih panasnya.

Home...cooking before twelve and having the food ready as early as I could was a normal routine. Mau lambat ,cikli boleh hypho. Bukan hippo ya. Hypho.
Melunaskan segala bill juga bukan tugas yang mudah. Ketar tangan bila kena bayar bill yang tinggi dengan pencen ku yg se ciput.
Taking care of the house too ,I gladly do.

Semalam,aku tonton Mikrofon Impian. Rancangan yang membuat aku merembes airmata menonton kesusahan mereka yg mengambil bahagian. Jelas, mereka menghadapi lebih kuat dugaan. Ada ibubapa sakit, suami sakit, diri sakit. Dan mereka tiada punca kewangan. Lagi la kan...

Its ok,for me to face all theses. Aku masih boleh gagahi buat segala itu. Boleh masih mengongkosi segala perbelanjaan. Anak2 pun ada membantu  dari kejauhan. Tq anak2.
Yang aku kesal... eh...ada ke. Ada juga. Banyak pun.
Janganlah kerana ini,aku hilang punca diri. Kesabaran ada hadnya.

April is here.... hope its nice to me.
Nak kena pi bumbung biru dah lepas ni.
Busy jaga orang, tapi diri sendiri .....esok lusa entah2 dah pi...hihi.

Bye...love u alls.